new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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