I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
