i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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