How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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