my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize