Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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