wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize