dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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