just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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