Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
