How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize