the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
