Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
