Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize