The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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