sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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