he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
