I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
