In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
