Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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