Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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