I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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