I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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