im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize