Don't you send me to vm
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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