Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize