I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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