i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
