Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
