billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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