the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
