mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
