47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
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Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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