You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
