He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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