You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
