Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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