never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
