grandma shit on top of the toilet
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize