Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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