ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
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you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
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No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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