let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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