I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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