Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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