it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I supernannyed him into submission
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize