he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
