I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
