Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We were destined to go to rehab together
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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