I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize