I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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