They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
