well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
