I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
