In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We need to rekindle our bromance
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
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Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize