Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
bring money and cleavage
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
