this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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