Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
