what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Drunk is not a location!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
