Small penises have feelings too.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
